My current favorite ratio is 1 part wax, 2 parts butters: 1 part oils. Here's a sample recipe from Brambleberry: .
I don't know that guys are looking for anything super different than women, but maybe, because it's important to me that the balm is reasonably hard. I prefer balms that are stick tubes, not pots or tins. Maybe all the conditioning of using chapstick as a kid. Ha! Maybe there are differences that I haven't really considered. As for shiny, I don't care if a balm is shiny. It's more about how it feels for me during application & after. I personally don't like the feel of chapstick, which is like applying wax to me, but I also don't like a super mushy feel. Anyway, this ratio passes the "pocket test", i.e., won't melt in pant pockets, when I use at least 50% cocoa for the butters.
I've purchased a bunch of different handmade lip balms to compare against. Nothing I've tried is as good as the basic recipe I make using these ratios. I'm surprised by that, but hey, sometimes simple is better. It does matter what ingredients you choose. I've had balms that use these ratios that were too hard during application and not good afterwards either. So you will probably need to play around with which oils and butters you use.
Aren't they amazing compared to the store bought products?!