Teach Soap

My grandpa is my idol. He's extremely intelligent, he's wise, he always has amazing stories to tell, and of course... he is my grandpa. My only grandpa. He is also 94. We've all been worried about age taking him for years. But today I found out he has cancer in his throat, he even has a large lump sticking out of his neck.

The doctors say he won't make it to spring.

The most amazing man I know is going to be stolen from me by cancer. What will I do without him? Who will spring out of their seat, with a huge smile, just to give me a hug now? I've never lost anyone super close to me, I don't know what to do. I don't know what I'll do when he's gone.

Am I going to cry from now until spring? Am I going to cry from now until he is stolen from me?

What do I do?

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~~Heather~~
Mad [soaping] Scientist

I'm so sorry. I would start a personal journal and put your feelings on paper. If there are any family stories, can you get them on a tape recorder?

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Irena
Closed minds are like faulty parachutes; they refuse to open.

I am so very sorry to hear that. I watched The Boyfriend, an only child, lose his dad way too young to lung cancer - died within a year of diagnosis.

I am truly sorry you are having this painful life lesson at this point in time. The only consolation is with this type of thing - you get a chance to say goodbye. Trust me when I say this is a silver lining - The Boyfriend came home to find his mom in a coma due to massive stroke years later - no goodbye possible - and that can be really difficult.

Sending hugs.

Oh hunny, I am so sorry. My grandma was my best friend. She was the mother figure my own mother couldn't be. She was my everything. Cancer stole her from me. She was diagnosed in January, and was gone by April. The only thing she ever wanted to see me do was be a mother, and I lost her when I was 4 months pregnant with my first child.

To this day I miss her terribly, and in a few weeks I am getting a tattoo for her.

I lost her to breast cancer. The same cancer she had beaten twice before. The third time she just didn't have the fight left. I was SO angry at god, the world, the universe, the doctors, everyone.

Between now and 'when ever', don't cry. Just enjoy his presence, hold onto the hugs for a minute longer, make sure you tell him anything you want before he goes, and ask him to think of a sign he can give you after he has passed to let you know he is still around. My grandma touches my hair. When I need her, my hair tingles. That is her. We agreed on it before she left because that is what her mother did to her.

If you ever need to talk I am here hunny. PM me here, send me a message on FB, I'll give you my email. I know the hurt you are going through now, and what will follow. I am SO, so very sorry.

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The Soapinatrix! *whip-crack*
- Posting the trials and tribulations of my Soaping Journey!

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Soap Blog:

So sorry. If I could carry some of your hurt, I would.

I'm so sorry, Hesty. I lost my Grandma when I was 24 and newly married. She was 93. We were very close, and I still miss her dearly. I think what previous people said is spot on. Enjoy the time you have left with him. This time, it's a gift! Many people don't get the chance to say Goodbye. The last year we had w/ my Grandma was so precious. We said all the things we needed to say, gave lots of hugs, lots of kisses. Shared memories. It was beautiful, and peaceful.

I'll be praying for you and your family. It's not going to be an easy time for any of you, but I pray that it will bring you closer together and that everyone will get the opportunity to say what they need to say to him.

I am so sorry to read of your grandpa's illness. I agree with Irena with getting as much journaled now. You will be so happy later that you did. {{{HUGS}}}

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Lisa
“What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul” ~ Yiddish proverb

Thanks guys, it really helps to know I have such good and caring friends. My Nanny was my best friend, she slowly dwindled away. She held on until she had one last chance to see my cat Zach. She loved that cat so much. It never really impacted me like this when she died, I think because we knew it was going to happen. I still have nightmares though, where she is in pain and calling for me to help her. I don't deal well with change, and death is the worst. With Nanny I was nearby and spent all sorts of time with her. I'm far away from Grandpa and I don't get to see him much.

I'm also clinically depressed. My glass have full attitude usually counteracts the depression that remains even with the drugs. Not sure I can keep that attitude up right now... feels like impending doom. My family and friends are supposed to live forever.

Sorry guys, super upset.

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~~Heather~~
Mad [soaping] Scientist

Don't feel you have to be "chipper" right now.These are your feelings and no one can take them from you. No body expects anything else of you at this time. It is totally understandable that you'd be upset. It is human nature...and it's okay. I don't know if you are a believer but I have to tell you that I am and no matter what happens from here on out, be it in your life, mine, or others...God is in control and everything will be fine. I know that doesn't comfort you right now but I pray that it will at some point. Take some time to be what you need to be right now. God bless you, your grandpa, and your family. {{{HUGS}}}

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Lisa
“What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul” ~ Yiddish proverb

Heather,
Truely sorry to hear about your grand-dad. I believe in quality of life rather than quantity. Treasure every-moment you have together.
Sending you hugs.

I'll be praying for you and your family. {{HUGS}}

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Linda
I know the voices in my head aren't real, but they sure have some great ideas!

If you tell him the first two sentences you wrote,
I'm sure it would make him very happy.

I'm terribly sorry to hear this. I watched as my ex girlfriend (we're still great friends) lost her grandmother to cancer. It was hard for me because back then I had no cell phone and neither did she, and when I called her house her grandmother usually picked up, and we'd talk about the weather, or exchange a few pleasantries before handing the phone off. It hit us both hard, her harder obviously, but what I remember is the pleasant talks we had. Nothing can ever really take someone away from you so long as you remember them, bittersweet though those memories may become for a while.

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Just call me "Apo"

I'm so sorry, Hestey. You've had lots of changes to deal with lately .

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Carrie
Wife to my Best Friend and Homeschool mom to 7 beautiful gifts