Teach Soap

As many of you here know this past year has been rough with many family hospitalizations and the death of my father. As a result I'm giving serious consideration to temporarily cease taking orders for soap but continuing to teach and selling the soap supplies I currently sell (such as soap paints, non-bleeding liquid colorants, lip & eye safe micas, wholesaling my tool kits, and keep producing soaps for my existing wholesale customers.).

I need the income and LOVE my business, but I am approaching that overwhelmed point. With the recent death of my father and having promised my mother that I'd never let her go into a nursing home if at all humanly possible, I am orchestrating the remodeling of the home she has lived in for 50 years to allow her to live on the first floor and am preparing to move in. Which has been difficult but I have kept my head above water...until while in the rehab facility for a total knee replacement for my mother she was diagnosed with lymphoma. Between tests and dr.'s appointments, shopping, laundry and emptying the first floor of her home for the renovation I need to pull back before customers start getting their orders late. I don't want anything to impact the quality of my work, the customer service I provide or the reputation I've built for PJ Soaps.

Am I committing small business suicide, or do y'all think I can pull back on individual soap orders and still keep PJ Soaps alive and maintain the cutting edge profile by teaching and selling PJ Soaps supplies/tools?

Any feedback would be appreciated. I feel so lucky to have a place to seek for advice from my fellow soapers. Love you guys!

Paula

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PJ,
http://www.pjsoaps.com

I'm sorry. You sure have a lot on your plate. If you need to pull back a bit; pull back. Your customers will understand in the long run. You have to be able to take care of yourself and your mom. That's a priority.

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Irena
Closed minds are like faulty parachutes; they refuse to open.

PJ

Your situation is very familiar. My father passed, mother facing terminal cancer and nursing home care (which we all opposed). It wasn't me but my sister who quit her career and moved in as my mother's primary care giver in her last years (she also passed a few months ago). My sister had a small group of clients who followed her throughout the years. She gave it all away to take care of our mother. After my mother passed, my sister was able to pick up where she left off and found herself better off with clients and resuming her work. Her business is stronger now that it was when she put everything on hold 5 years ago.

Between my siblings and especially my sister who quit everything to provide my mother's care, we were able to make the last years of her life the easiest and most fun loving. None of us, especially my sister who sacrificed so much, would trade the decisions that were made. Take the time off, take care of your mother....you owe her that much. It's not easy and more difficult times are ahead. But you'll be thankful you were able to spend the time with her after she's gone. You're clients will understand and come back to you. The fact that you're taking the steps you are to care for your mother tells us all the quality of your character. Good things happen to good people. Your rewards lie ahead.

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PJ,
http://www.pjsoaps.com

PJ-
I know we don't know each other - but for the nice responses on this forum you have provided to me - I felt compelled to write you something after reading your note - I'm confdient that you can easliy make the transitions you need to make. What you are going to end up showing your customers is not only your continued committment to quality at a level you can stay committed to (by temporarily shedding aspects of the business - and notice I said temporarily) to focus on attending to your personal/family needs) but what you will be displaying is "courage" and "compassion". That is 'authentic' and you can't be anymore than that. I'm sure by communicating in the venue to your customers that you need to they will appreciate you even more. They will stay with you. And if some don't you can't 'worry' about that - it's too much in the future. You listed already what is in front of you - and that seems like alot to handle. You *need to stay healthy* for you and your mother. Adjusting the business for the circumstance that is in front of you - that's okay. Change is constant. And as supersoaper said her sister came out stronger. You will too - even without all the answers. I only hope my words assist you in your decision making process.
Alll my best
Hilary

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http://www.asliceofdelight.etsy.com

PJ

My sister had to do without a lot of non-essentials over the years she was caring for our mother. All of us siblings pitched in and tried to help but it was still difficult. I paid her auto insurance for her and paid for cable TV into the home. Another sister gave her a credit card to only be used to purchase gas for her car. Another was constantly providing groceries.

I don't know if you have Hospice involved. If you don't....you should check into it. I have a newfound respect for them after working with them in my Mothers case. They provided all medication at no charge, nursing visits, oxygen, medical checkups, a hospital bed, wheelchair, etc. All just given to my sister/mother for her use. They would even send 2 or 3 volunteers over about once or twice a month to sit with our mother so my sister could run personal errands (dentist, shopping, etc.). This kept my sister from becoming overwhelmed. Please, please, please do yourself a favor and contact hospice if you haven't already. After seeing how they operate I now give most of my charitable donations to them. They also seems genuinely interested in caring for her. Good people who have earned my respect and admiration.

I spent almost a year with my mother during her last year of her life. I can tell you that hospice was a godsent.

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Irena
Closed minds are like faulty parachutes; they refuse to open.

I have to agree with SuperSoaper. Granted, my mom was across the country in NY and I wasn't able to be there as much as I wanted but hospice is something you need to at least look into. My dad would have gone out of his mind if it wasn't for them. You might actually be pleasantly surprised by friends and family, too. Things like this always seem to bring out the best in people. Sadly, it takes occasions like this to do that. All sorts of people that my family hadn't seen or spoken to in years came to help when they found out - groceries, gas money, help with the lawn, whatever they could do. You'll find ways to make it through.

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~ Jaya


~~ Also @ MySpace.com/aromasandthings

I agree with everyone - you have your priorities and I suspect you really know what you're going to do anyway - family needs to come first. I would suggest you contact your clients and explain the situation - you don't need to go into the in's and out's of it, but just say that for a temporary period, the soaping side of the business needs to take a back seat (or some better wording that I'm coming up with). If they are good customers and good people, they will understand - so many will have been through something similar themselves too. My Dad lives with us and, though he's well and healthy now, time will take it's toll on him and we too will have to face the situation at some point in time. It's something that touches us all eventually.

Though we've not talked so much, please know that we care for you and if you need to rant and rave or have a good blub here, we've got lots of shoulders you can lay your head on for a bit ok?

The very very best of luck to you and your Mum.

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PJ, when I first read your post, I thought maybe you could farm out your soap work, but visiting your website again, I was reminded that no one can do soaps the way you do them. People will wait for this, and be thrilled when you come back. There actually is no option - you have to do what you have to do. Everything will fall in place, and at the end of the day you will have peace, knowing you did the right thing. Life is such a journey, ever changing with endless crooks and turns. You have a very special talent, unique to you. It's not going to go away .

As has been said.... we are here, and my bet is that most of us have gone through something like this, to some degree. It doesn't have to be all about soap, with people who care about each other. Big hug..

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Barbara at Oasis Soap Co.
http://www.oasissoap.com

P.J. I haven't posted for a while, but my heart went out to you when I read your message. I went through something similar when I lost my husband a few years ago. And like you, I was running around trying to do everything and be there for everyone while trying to deal with my own grief. Just like you are dealing with your grief at the passing of your father. The stress is overwhelming, and you know what stress does to the body. My advice would be to take care of yourself, take care of your mom to the best of your ability and whatever you can let go of right now, let it go! I spent so many nights worrying about this and that and you know what, none of those things every happened! As far as your business, I found that people are so much nicer and understanding than I gave them credit for. They will understand.

Sorry for going on and on......hope that helps. Oh, and get yourself a massage....