I don't even know where to start...
Milling does press out the glycerin. I don't think you can mill and not lose the glycerin formed in the soapmaking process. The soap is forced through extruders and then rolled under extreme pressure. The major benefit of handmade soap is the fact that it still has all that wonderful glycerin.
There's nothing wrong with having more hard oils in your soap. My recipes are 60-70% hard oils and are very mild. It all depends on the oils you use. There are quite a few hard oils that are mild.
As for the scent, are you using the correct amount for each essential oil? Are you anchoring the scent with a base note like vetiver, patchouli, cedarwood, etc? Even a small amount of one of these scents can help a lot. Are your essential oils pure and not cut with a carrier oil?